Who am I ?

Wow, it has been another week since I have posted.
I survived the pizza, popcorn, and ice cream movie night. Then the next night I went to an unexpected birthday BBQ. I did ok there, I had a taste of what I wanted and did not over indulge. I had a hamburger with veggies and no mayo but, I did not finish it. I did have a few french fries....fried in oil ! They didn't have much flavor though and weren't really worth it. As a matter of fact I threw away my ice cream sunday! I cannot believe I did that without struggling at all. I just thought "this doesn't really even taste very good......so why am I eating it?" So in the trash can it went without hesitation. That in itself is a major accomplishment for me. I used to always eat things just because it was there and something to do or because someone gave it to me. Not any more...oh, and yesterday I passed up brownies that were offered to me two different times. They smelled delicious but, I just didn't feel like having one. I did grab an iced green tea instead and drank half of it. I don't even know myself anymore I am doing strange things.
I weighed in today and lost 2 pounds this week. I spent a good deal of time thinking about my weight today because I just could not remember what the scale said. Every time I was going to recall the number in my head I transposed the last two numbers. It seemed as if it should have been the bigger number for some reason.....like I was fooling myself into thinking I weighed a smaller amount. After all, I have not been this low since 1986 and so I have been accustom to thinking in the higher numbers for quite some time now. This is the most weight I have lost and been successful at doing it.
Things are changing and I'm moving in a forward motion.
Hope everyone is doing good this week. :)

Pizza, popcorn, ice cream...oh, my!

Making healthy choices today...so far! I'm not sure about tonight....we are going to have a movie night with pizza, popcorn, and ice cream. I better start cutting up some carrots and cucumbers right now so I am prepared for the snack time. I'm fine with the pizza in moderation. I have never stopped eating pizza, I just limit myself now to no more than 2 pieces and not too often.

Pizza happens especially when you have kids!

I just posted a couple of new progress pictures. I thought it was about time for a new one. I don't see too much difference from the last one and that is why I have been putting it off but, I do want to keep a record of where I've been. I do see a difference between now and the beginning picture though.

Keep on moving in a forward motion!

Weigh-in day...

I stayed the same this week. I think I have to say this is a good thing this week for me. I have not worked very hard to loose weight although I have kept count of my calories and have done pretty good but, I did not get in the exercise that I needed to go with it to loose any weight.

I did not eat well today. I started out the day bad by skipping breakfast and then eating lunch quickly on my way to visit my friend that has cancer. While I was there I didn't eat a thing, I did have 2 glasses of water though. I stayed for 5 hours visiting. I wasn't feeling hungry while I was there but, when I got home I was really hungry! I ate a banana hoping that would do the trick till I could fix dinner. Well, I was way over hungry so then I got out the hummus and baked wheat chip crackers and had a few and a few more and then just a few more. I was not feeling hungry anymore at this point but keep in mind I was also fixing dinner at this time. When dinner was finished cooking I ate a big dinner and felt stuffed and had a stomach ache afterward. Then I ate a small bit of ice cream with my husband....big mistake.....I feel miserable and sick. Why did I do this to myself? I deserve to be treated much better than this! I can't even go to bed I feel so bad.
I'm learning to take take of me and I did not take good care of me today.
Tomorrow I will treat myself better and make healthy choices.....I deserve it!

I hope everyone is doing good this week and remember....keep on moving in a forward motion!

Poise, do you have what it takes...

What does Poise mean to you? What do you think of when you hear the word Poise? Do you think of sophistication, nose in the air....finishing school. The first thing I thought of was how you hold yourself and how you conduct yourself. I had a bad morning at class when I was asked what I think of when I hear of the word Poise and the first thing that I thought of was how I kept on going without breaking down when I forgot most of what I was asked to do that morning. I could have crumbled and beat myself up for forgetting all the things I have been working on but, I didn't I just said "ok, I blew it big time but now I have to move on and try harder". The other woman in my class was huffing and grunting every time she messed up and throwing her hands down and being frustrated and everyone could tell. We both had forgotten a lot of what we had already learned but how we handled ourselves was what we were really being tested on. How we responded in a crisis....could we keep it together or would we fall apart and give up?? Did we have poise?

Poise can be defined as being true to oneself, not getting rattled, thrown off, or unbalanced regardless of the circumstance or situation. This may sound easy, but in challenging times Poise can be a most elusive quality. Those lacking Poise panic under pressure.

Poise means holding fast to your principles and acting in accordance with them regardless of how bad or good the situation may be. Poise means avoiding pose or pretense, avoid comparing yourself to others, or acting like someone or something you're not.
Poise means having a brave heart in all circumstances.

That's Poise: not being thrown off stride in how you behave or what you believe regardless of what is happening around you.

Where there is Poise, there is also confidence right by it's side.

Now, there are many things that can make up Poise... a graceful and elegant bearing in a person, composure and dignity of manner, balance of oneself

I struggled with Poise today. I had to show in class today and that is one of my least favorite things to do. I am not competitive at all nor do I enjoy being in front of a group of people watching me. I really lack confidence in this area. I have come along way but, I have so far to go! I also struggled with composure through out the day when things came up that were different from what I expected or had been changed.

Do you have Poise. Do you handle yourself in a graceful and elegant manner with composure at all times, or do you loose your temper and fall of the wagon everytime you mess up a bit or temptation takes over for a meal of two.Do you throw in the towel just because you don't loose any weight for the week or you have a gain. Do you compare yourself to others that are doing well and feel you never measure up.

Poise is a key to success!! You have to lift your head and keep on moving in a forward motion without being derailed.

Remember....keep on moving in a forward motion...you can do this!

Thank you for the blog award!...

I missed last weeks weigh-in because I was gone camping. I will weigh-in on this week.....I'm guessing I didn't loose but I don't think it will be a big gain, maybe stay the same?...I just haven't worked very hard at exercise this week. I did go on a lot of walks when we were camping but I have not gotten in a good work out every day this week. I have been watching my calories and most days I have been on target.... a few days I was over my budget.

Thank you goes to Shmologna @ http://thebigsister80.blogspot.com/for the great blog award!

Remember.... keep on moving in a forward motion!

Have a great week!

Feeling good about myself...

This week I lost 2.6 pounds which allowed me to mark off some of my goals. I got to check off "lost 40 pounds", "lost 15% of my weight", "feeling good about myself". I also got to add a new HYC badge to my blog and another healthy heart to my collection. This is a lot of things to feel good about but, most of all I think I feel the best about not giving up!! I have faced many challenges in the last year and a half and many of them could have made me throw in the towel but, I am not giving up on me. I deserve to be healthy and strong. I am worth it! Most of the time I feel like I am barely hanging in there and struggling with loosing weight but, loosing weight is not the only way to feel good about yourself. There are many weeks that I don't have a loss but I try to keep on looking forward and moving on in a healthy direction trying to be positive about myself in all areas. I am working on physical and mental goals as well in a class 2-3 times a week. It has been a major struggle for me but I am doing it and not giving up!! (another test coming up on Sept. 11) I was not sure I could do this next test last week but now I have decided I am moving forward and going to do my best!

Hope everyone is having a great week and looking forward! :)
What do you feel good about this week??