Weight-in Day & INTENTNESS cont.....

So today is weigh-in day....I stayed the same this week and I'm not too upset but, more so, it has given me a new strength to look at what I am doing in my life, what makes a difference, and to be content with what life brings my way as long as I know I am still tying to be healthy and not giving up. My life has been out of order the last few weeks but I believe it will be getting back is some sort of order soon. I am trying to take care of myself and get healed up so I can get back with more exercise, I have realized how important exercise is and what a large part it plays in losing weight. I am on light activity for a couple more weeks but will be back on track soon!

As you know I have been posting about INTENTNESS. Here are a few more thoughts about intentness that I want to share with you.

Intentness can mean determination, it can mean persistence, it can mean tenacity or perseverance.
Intentness is the ability to resist temptation and stay on course, to concentrate on your objective with determination and resolve. Impatience is wanting too much too soon. Intentness doesn't involve wanting something. It involves doing something often for a very long time, possibly a lifetime.

The road to real achievement is usually bumpy and long, but you do not give up. You may have setbacks. You may have to start over. You may have to change your methods. You may have to go around, or over, or under on your path. You may have to back up and start again. But you do not quit. You stay the course. To do this....you must have INTENTNESS.

Be persistent. Be determined. Be tenacious. Be completely determined to reach your goal, what every it may be. That's intentness. If you stay intent and your ability warrants it, you will eventually reach the top of the mountain that you are tying to climb.


Thinking about intentness has inspired me and I have wanted to share it with you. I'm not sure where I am with intentness yet.
I feel like I am in a fog right now and searching for the path, fumbling along the way. I do believe I have seen the warning signs out there that lead me of the path but most of the time I choose to ignore them. Somehow thinking I know better, not trusting that the warning is real, only to fall in to a deeper fog and way off the path headed in a different direction. I'm trying to get my fog lights hooked up and running so I can see a little clearer down the path! Being intent on reaching my small goals is helping me see where I want to be even though the path is still foggy.

I hope you are all being intent on reaching your goal....no matter what it is big or small.....let me know where you are in the fog and what you are being intent on. Hope every one is having a great week......and remember.....never give up!
CHECK OUT THIS POST @ fearfully and wonderfully made This is GREAT!

Can you see beyond the fog.....

Last week I posted a bit about INTENTNESS and I ask.....what are your thoughts on intentness? tell me how you are being intent.. I loved what you had to say about INTENTNESS!!

Felicia said...
What a great post!! Lets see, I am intent on never going back to what I was nor letting life drag me back there. I am intent on always facing forward and not letting the pot holes suck me down. I am intent on being, every day, better then I was the day before. I am intent on being the best me not only for me but to me.

dadivastreet said...
I am intent on following my goal to be healthier. I am intent on identifying the triggers that keep me from obtaining my goal.

Cammy said...
Intentness is huge in trying to become fit. It requires that we remain focused and committed to this one purpose, not ignoring other needs but incorporating them into the fitworld (rather than the other way around.)

Twix said...
Hmmm, intentness. This week I will accomplish the goals I set forth for myself!

Thank you all for your great comments! I was so Inspired by them!! I would love to hear from more of you if you get a chance to leave a comment.

This week I have been thinking about the "fog" in life. The things that come up in life that seem to fog up your goals and make it hard to see the light. As I've said before I have a hard time seeing the ending goal of my weight loss. It seems so far away....I can't even imagine what it will be like because I have never been there. Sometimes I feel as if I can't reach the goal because I can't see it. I'm not sure what it looks like. Or how to get there.
Right now I have been focusing on small goals of losing 5 pounds at a time and that is helping me "see" where I'm going. Five pounds is not so far off in the fog that I can't see it. I can see 5 pounds on the scale and I can feel it in the way my clothes fit. This is so much more attainable to me. It is still hard to get to where I am going and takes focus but I can "see" more clearly to losing 5 pounds. Eventually the small goals will add up to a big goal some day and I will be able to see more clearly where I am going. I had a foggy week this last week not knowing where I was going at all (you can read the post before this one to understand why I say that).

Do you have a clear view of your goal or are you in a fog? If you have a clear view, how did you get there? What are some ways you use to "see" through the fog? Do you set small goals? reward yourself? (I want to give myself rewards but haven't figured out a good system yet) Put your fog lights on and leave me a comment, I love hearing from all of you, let me know where you are in the fog and how you cope with it.

It's been a long week.....

It's been a week since I posted last. I've been through a lot of things in this last week.
First, I will go back to weigh-in day....thursday. I did weigh-in that morning before heading to the hospital. I lost 1 lb. last week. I was pretty happy about that, but just didn't have the energy to get on here and post.

So, when I went in for my yearly exam this year I had a bad mammogram. I skipped last years because I couldn't bring myself to make the appointment....because I had a bad mammogram the year before too. (Don't ask me for the reasoning there....one would think if you had a bad test one year you would want to be on top of things for the next year.) Any way I had to have biopsies 2 years ago and it was not fun. They turned out to be benign and I recovered but it was a tough time for me in my life and I felt so alone, I couldn't bare to go there again. So I finally made the appointment for this year and once again a bad mammogram! This time it was worse...I had to have 14 core biopsies on the other side. I went to the hospital on thursday, this time not alone!! It is still very scary and stressful. It took the doctor 3 times the amount of time that they had planned and that made my husband worry as he sat in the waiting room but, I was glad to go a bit slow so I could have a breather in there. I called the nurse yesterday and she said the "unofficial" results were, they were all benign. I still have to get the official results when my doctor is in though, maybe today or tomorrow?? The heavy cloud lifted from my head after I heard the nurse say they were benign. I felt like doing something...energized...but too sore to jump or dance around. 0_o I wanted to ride my bike too, but my husband wouldn't let me yet. He is taking good care of me this time. But a lot of the time I just think I can do everything myself, I don't want anyone to think I'm a baby. I'm used to being independent and doing things for myself and everyone else it's hard to sit still and have others do things for me. I'm recovering well and will be back to doing everything as usual real soon!

Now that leads me up to the part of eating and being healthy for the last week. I have been real hungry since my biopsies! Mainly craving proteins and not eating enough of them and in turn eating too many carbs because I'm still hungry and I'm grabbing something quick! I really have tried to stay on plan but it has been so hard, my body is so out of it. My sleeping has been off and I couldn't do any exercise. I'm not trying to give excuses for anything, I'm just amazed at how something like this can throw your everyday routine off. I have been physically and emotionally weak! I have been eating ice cream with my husband at night again.....smaller portions....but still not good....this will need to stop!!! Yesterday I was very nervous about waiting for my results and hungry from going in town and doing my class (light activity). When I came home about 3:30pm I had a 1/2 bagel with some chicken on it and a couple of pringles. Then I did the old "that was sooooo good and made me feel soooo much better" that I made the other half of the bagel with chicken on it and ate it too. Then I was stuffed and not hungry for dinner but I ate dinner anyway. I dished up my dinner and then looked at it and put some back. I had mostly green beans a little bit of spaghetti but 2 pieces of bread and cheese all over the spaghetti. This week I could see some old habits creeping back in there like, eating just because it's there and emotional eating! My emotions have been all over the place and I have not had the energy to really focus on my eating habits...I didn't abandon it altogether though...I did try to stay in control of portions and I didn't give into every little opportunity to eat and be out of control even though It would have been real easy to just give up and not think about my food intake at all.

Intentness.....

You will never know what you can achieve unless you try.


Feeling kinda blaaa tonight. Health issues getting me down, in and out of the doctor (I hate going to the doctor). I hope to have a few of them taken care of in the next couple of weeks.....I've never had so many things going on at once.....I'm pretty sure all will turn out good, nothing major....just stressful and annoying!!

I still am working on getting that 20lbs. lost badge from HYC. I really like working towards small goals, mine is every 5 lbs. I saw a video on youtube about a woman that got sponsors to help her lose weight. Some one would pledge to give her inspiration for a certain amount of weight she lost. Sounds interesting......sometimes I feel so alone in this journey.....I know most of it I bring on myself by not wanting to tell the people that I know that I'm trying to be healthy, but that is to protect myself from the people that like to control everything I do. Oh well, I'm grateful for the support on here.

I went back to class today and I really thought it was going to be soooo hard, but it really wasn't! I think I did real good for not being in class for a week. I got 1 hour of exercise in today. I didn't do a double class because I'm trying to take it easy this week. We have themes of the month in class.
*The theme of the month is INTENTNESS.

*intent |inˈtent|
*noun
intention or purpose
1. Something that is intended; an aim or purpose.
2. The state of one's mind at the time one carries out an action.
3. Meaning

*adjective
[ predic. ] ( intent on/upon) resolved or determined to do (something) :
• attentively occupied with :
1. Firmly fixed; concentrated
2. Having the attention applied; engrossed
3. Having the mind and will focused on a specific purpose

*DERIVATIVES
intently- adverb
intentness -noun

Intentness.....what are your thoughts on intentness? tell me how you are being intent.

Stay positive....

When I was at the doctor on Thursday I read this article about how much water our bodies really need. Well, it says it depends on our weight and how many caffeinated and alcoholic drinks you have each day. So this is how it works: First divide your weight in half to get the number of ounces of water your body needs each day. Then add 8 ounces for each caffeinated or alcoholic drink you consume ( because both are diuretics) and another 8 ounces for every 20 minutes of exercise you do. Ok.....I don't know about you but, I have a hard enough time trying to drink 64 ounces of water each day!!! I can't imagine having to drink half my body weight (even in ounces) of water and add on for coffee and exercise (I don't drink alcohol, so no worry there). I'm not saying this is a bad thing....just seems like a lot to me!
So.....next time you go to the mall and see some crazy women cartin' around a 5 gal. bucket with an extra long straw hanging out......that will be me, no time to talk, just wave and smile...... 'cause I'm heading for the nearest bathroom! :)

I am pretty stressed right now and dealing with some hard things……it is so hard not to turn to food for comfort. I had a bad day today and just wanted to come home, lay on the couch and have something to eat, and watch t.v.. Well, I had a orange to eat and got on the computer to read some blogs to get inspired and remember I’m not the only one out there with this problem. We can make healthy choices……and we will!!!

Remember on this weight loss journey we not only have to get our bodies healthy we also have to get our minds healthy with possitive input and stop listening to the negative that we are so accustom too. It too can be a bitter sweet comfort as this is what most of have always known. Now is the time to start changing that part of us too. Try to say something positive about yourself everyday even if it is something small.....you deserve it!

Weigh-in day....

So the official weigh-in says I stayed the same this week. I am a bit disappointed because yesterday it was looking like I was going to lose a pound. I am really trying to get that 20 lbs. lost badge from HYC.
Such is life..... just when you think you have things figured out it changes on you. I'm not giving up......I'm going to do it!!! I did have a short moment of wanting to quit this morning and I made a piece of toast and some cottage cheese after I already ate breakfast. By lunch I had reconsidered and was back on track of making good choices though....it didn't feel good to be stuffed anymore and that toast just didn't comfort me like it used too, it just made me tired and I didn't get anything done this morning. My friend called and that cheered me up.

I can think of some good things I have done this week though.......
I exercised at home on my own, without going to class this week, ( I will start back Monday at class)
I made good food choices most of the time,
I took the stairs at the doctor's office yesterday instead of waiting for the elevator.
I drank my water on most days.

I have been under a lot of stress and not getting much sleep though and I think that has something to do with it. I told myself when I started this blog that it is time to start taking care of me instead of putting everyone else first and I'm not giving up on me....I'm worth it!

Stressed today......

I've had a few challenging days over the weekend. On Friday I went to a fair with my husband. The smells were wonderful....not your typical hot grease and cotton candy smells.......these were fresh corn, artichokes, bean burritos with handmade salsa, curry chicken, stir fry, brown rice, wonderful India seasoned veggies and noodles, samosas, DeFrisco chicken, whole wheat pizza, greek salad, all the great ethnic and organic foods. I was doing really good not wanting to have some of everything. I had decided to have 1/2 plate of noodles with veggies and chicken for lunch then have a wonderful organic fruit salad for a treat. Then I got a migraine and had to lay down on the blanket for a couple of hours. When I woke up I was sooooo hungry, I'm always starving after I have a migraine, so we went and got a Thripthy....that is an India burrito. It has a flat bread, curry chicken, fresh cabbage, tomato, cucumbers, onion, cilantro and some really hot onion and pepper chuttney....it is soooo good. Well after I ate that I was stuffed and never got to have my fruit salad. I still stayed with in my calories for the day ........well mostly.......I guess I better include the Starbucks Frappacinno we got on the way home.

Saturday was spent mostly taking it easy so I didn't have another migraine. I did fix frozen fish sticks for dinner(fast and easy) and didn't feel really good about eating that and clam chowder. For lunch I made the fresh fruit salad I wanted and it was really good and filling I had a spoon of yogurt on it and a sprinkle of granola.

Sunday didn't go real well....I didn't get breakfast ( big mistake) then by lunch time I was really hungry!!!! We were suppose to go to my husbands parents for a BBQ at 1:00pm after church so I assumed it was going to be lunch. I was wrong. They weren't planning on eating till around 4:00pm. If I had known this I would have got lunch after church before I even went all the way there. I told my husband I need to eat, so I took the kids and went and found the nearest Taco bell. The kids ate too much and were stuffed, I ate one bean burrito with lettuce and tomato and 5 chips. Not long after we got back they decided to start cooking.......wouldn't you know it!!! I ate a turkey burger on 1/2 a bun, I like to put lettuce on the top to hold it all together, no mayo. I did have cheese though and about 12 chips.......surprise they didn't bother me this time....I took about 6 then I went back and had about 6 more and wasn't tempted to have any more. I did good with my food choices but the rest of the evening was real emotional for me...I thought about getting into the ice cream but I just went to bed instead.

This morning I went for a "polarbear swim" with my daughter (the pool was about 74 degrees), not too cold but it was fun first thing in the morning.....it was refreshing...and she loved it! I got about a 30 min work-out in. After that I got another migraine. And yes I got really hungry after it went away. So, if I stopped eating right now and didn't have dinner I would be on track......but I don't think I can skip dinner. I think I will make a salad. That will be good!

I feel like I'm a mess physically....with having these headaches and being emotional and feeling stressed, please pray for me. I do have some things going on but just trying to get through them with time and prayer. Trying to stay busy this week and not lay around and sleep on the couch. Sorry for all the venting.....just need to tell someone. Thanks for listening.

BBQ for dinner.....again!

This was a very healthy BBQ dinner. We went to some very good friends house for BBQ dinner on thursday. It was very nice and healthy too! We had salad and I brought a plate of cucumbers and tomato. They BBQed flank steak to go with it. The kids all had a couple of pieces, I had one small piece and my husband had none. We don't eat red meat on a regular basis and my hubby never eats it. Then they served ice cream after dinner. What were they thinking....it wasn't friday night....we only have ice cream on friday nights.....oh well, the kids loved it. I had one very small scoop. It was very nice not to have all the junk food that is usually at a BBQ. I was so happy to see that they did not invite those terrible "chips" to come......they just never leave me alone at BBQs and I'm getting fed up with them. :)

( When we were there I got to ride a "quad" for the very first time in my life......it was so much fun!)

Weigh-in Day...

So the scales say I lost 2 pounds this week. I'm not sure I believe it....but I will post it today. I hope it is telling me the truth because I certainly don't feel like I deserve it. I know things go up and down and I don't always have to understand why.... it just makes me nervous that it might be wrong and then next week I will show a gain or something. Oh well...I won't worry about it today.

I lost 2 pounds this week and I'm happy about that and I'm still continuing to try to make healthy choices in my life....food and otherwise.

Feeling a bit better today...

It was so nice to hear from all of you who left me a get well comment! Thank you so much!!
Well....I do have to report to you all that I did turn to food 2 times :( one time I had a cookie with coffee and the other time I searched the house for chocolate!!! I found a snack size candy bar and ate it. I didn't really feel bad about it either. I feel worse about turning to food for comfort than I do about the two treats that I ate. I have not had the desire to turn to food for comfort as much as I used to so, I know things are getting better in my new way of healthy eating & healthy living.

I'm feeling a bit better today. I'm thinking the coffee I had this morning has a bit to do with it though (more energy). :)
My sinuses are a bit more clear today and I'm not so grouchy......yet.....in a couple of hours it may be a different story! I did a lot today. I went to class and did double classes today....it was sooooo hot....my face was beet red! I drank a lot of water though and slowed down a few times when I felt like I needed to. My partner for the second class needed to go slow today too, so that helped. The partner I had for the first class is one of the hardest people to work with that's there. I have had a lot of trouble with her in the past, but today wasn't bad. I plan to write a bit more about that when I tell you all about the secret that I have (I'm working on a page to tell you about it). Lots of workout time today!

So tomorrow is my weigh-in day I'm not sure how I will do considering I didn't exercise as much this week and went to a BBQ. So far today the scale is down a pound....but we'll see tomorrow what the official number is ??!!

Hope everyone is doing well this week. I checked in on the HYC but I didn't take time to read many blogs this time to see how everyone is doing.

I am so fascinated by the progress pictures people have posted. From the beginning pictures to the ones that have lost 200lbs. and more. If you have progress pictures I would love to see them.....if you do not have progress pictures I would highly recommend you to really consider posting them even if you don't like your picture you never know how it might inspire someone else. I think the progress pictures and the positive comments left by all of you, have been my biggest incentives to keep on going and never give up.

Feeling weak....

I'm feeling weak today. I've been fighting off a virus and not much sleep this last week. My emotions are high and I have a lot on my mind. I haven't turned to food though......yet. I did think about it for a couple of minutes but then my body just said you aren't hungry....so why eat? So I had some tea and it was satisfying. I'm going to go lay on the couch for awhile and plan out dinner...a healthy one of course!

It's a new day!!

Well, the BBQ went ok, but those darn chips would not leave me alone. They kept jumping on my plate and then in my mouth even when I said ok, a couple of you can jump on....then a few more always seemed to follow without my permission. And to top it off the left over bags of chips said they were coming home with my kids but, you know what, they really came home with us to torment me!! Help, the chips are after me!!! O_o

Ok, so I did good with the food to start with. I had a hamburger with no mayo or ketchup, just the bottom bun then red onion, tomato, and lettuce on the top to hold it all together (like a top bun). That was soooo good! We don't eat red meat in our everyday diet so this was something I have not had in a long time. There was chicken there but, I chose to have a hamburger. I got 3 of three different kinds of chips and a tablespoon of guacamole. The mango salsa and cream cheese was hard to resist and I did have about a 1/4 cup of that....it was so good on the burger too. I had a tablesoon of potato salad. I felt good about these choices then the chips attacked!! Oh...and I can't forget to tell you I did have a cookie too.
Later on we had a lovely slice of cheesecake with berries and whipped cream....my friend always has the best desserts!!!

Today is a new day and I am back on plan. I do feel a bit bloated today though! probably the salt in those darn chips....I wish they would stay away from me....they make me miserable!!
Hope everyone is having a good holiday weekend.

Plan for the day...

BBQ's and fireworks!!! I plan to make healthy choices on food today. I plan to eat what I want but not, as much as I would have in the past. I know there will be healthy things and no-so-healthy things to choose from. I plan to listen to my body when it is full and not exploding like a firework. We'll see how it works though after tonight.....I'm learning to live as life goes on around me!

First Progress Picture...

Ok...I got really brave today and decided to post a face picture. Here goes....

The first one my son took back when I started this blog. The "lost 15 lbs." one I took on the web cam. I thought my face looked thinner in the second picture.... tell me what you think.

Weigh-in Day...

It was close but I did it...I lost 1 more pound this week!! I can get that 15 lbs. lost badge from HYC now. Wow, how did I do that? The time has gone by so quickly. The support from all of you has really helped me tremendously!

I'm so happy to be able to say I've lost 15 lbs. now. Although, I'm NOT telling anyone but my immediate family and you guys, of course. (It's hard to keep my kids from saying anything to people though, they are happy because I'm happy but, they don't understand why I don't want to tell everyone.) I fear everyone else, with all their comments and expectations I know that I can never live up to being what they want me to be or looking the way they think I should or lose the weight the way they say I should. OH, and....people saying "oh you can't have that you're on a diet". And friends that put pressure on themselves because they think they need to be losing weight so they avoid being around you because you might somehow make them look bad. That's some of why I had given up for so long....I was always a failure at losing weight. Oh, I could lose some here and there but would always gain it back mostly because I starved myself to lose it, then when I started eating again I just gained it back.
NO MORE OF THAT!! I am going to be healthy at what ever weight it is that I'm at, and going to do that by making good food choices and portion sizes, listening to when I'm full and when I'm hungry, drinking water, moving this body around for some exercise, taking my vitamin, getting more sleep, laughing every day, giving hugs and feeling good!

I was on here almost everyday this week reading and checking into the HYC but, I didn't write anything all week. I thought about a lot of things though. I was starting to think I was giving up and slowly going back to my old eating habits. But then it hit me last night....some of the things that have happened to me in the past 8 weeks.

My family all had ice cream last night and I had 2 bites and never felt the need to eat a bowl for myself....I was not deprived because I knew that I could have some if I wanted too! I was not restricted from it.

I have been not as focused on food lately as I used to be. Even though I do think more about what I'm going to eat, food is not so important to me anymore.

I have not been turning to food for comfort as much....it always makes me feel worse in the end anyway!!

I am full with smaller portions too! (And feel better after eating less.)

OH!, and I can't forget....my clothes are getting baggy!!

So, I did feel like I was getting a little too relaxed about losing weight and starting to go backwards but now I've realized some of the things that have changed in my life and they are so good that I really want to work hard at keeping the new changes.....I'm not going to give up. I know it's not always going to be this easy but wow, 15 lbs lost is more than I've lost in the last 8 years. This time I want to do this for ME !! Those of you that have been at this longer than I have and are still hanging in there....good times and bad..... you are my inspiration to keep going. This is a lifetime commitment!

I will be looking on here to some of your blogs for support over the weekend....the BBQs and all that good food!!! Holidays and parties are hard for me....there are too many choices....I usually want it ALL!!! but I will be trying hard to make good choices for me !