Thanksgiving...

I had a great Thanksgiving! I did not stuff myself this year. Don't get me wrong, I did not eat perfectly, I ate the things that I wanted to and did not feel guilty about trying a small piece of the "forbidden foods" like pie and doughnuts not to mention stuffing and potatoes & gravy. I even had a dab of butter on a roll....not bad but I'm not missing it in everyday life. I'm fine to leave butter out now. I think I had more trouble resisting loading up on Friday with all the leftovers. I did great for breakfast and lunch but when dinner came I ate too much and then had ice cream for dessert. My stomach is not liking me today.

One of my biggest challenges this year was seeing people that I haven't seen in a year. Losing 56 pounds is starting to show and I can no longer hide the fact that I am losing weight. I had a hard time responding to the questions and the reactions of people that noticed. All is well though and I am starting to feel good about myself.

Funny little thing......I was always the one who was overweight at all the family functions and all the others were thin......time has turned the tables around and now I am not the heaviest one there, there are several there that are heavier than me now. Who would have known?

I weighed in a day early this week because I knew I would not be able to weigh-in on Thursday morning since I would not be home. I lost .8 of a pound. Every little bit is adding up....up to 56 pounds gone . I'm not losing fast but I'm hoping to keep off what I have lost!

How was your Thanksgiving? What were your challenges? food or people???

I am also learning to "let go"of the junk around me. It is a process...but one worth doing. Cleaning house went well and I was able to get rid of some of the junk I was holding on to.

Getting rid of the junk in life...something to celebrate!

cookies for dinner....

I weighed in last Thursday and was down .5 pounds. A half of a pound is not much but it is a loss and not a gain. I have been retaining some water this week but that's ok it will soon pass.
I made some bad choices on Sunday....for dinner I ate 4 cookies and 2 pieces of toffee, 1/2 slice of cheese and 2 rice crackers. I can't believe I did this. It was all about poor planning. I did not pack any healthy food to take with me for the evening. When I got hungry the only choices were cookies and candy and cheese & crackers at the class I was at. I had 2 cookies, one oatmeal and one chocolate chip with oatmeal and coconut thinking the oatmeal would help fill me up. ?? I also had a 1/2 cup coffee to help. Then I remembered I had an apple in my bag from a couple of days ago. Guess what I did.....I got 2 more cookies and did not eat my apple. I made a bad choice. I even went over my calorie limit for the day. I thought I would eat something healthy when I got home but I wasn't hungry when I got home so I went to bed. About 30 minutes after I ate the cookies I felt really tired and kinda sick. Good news is I didn't beat myself up about it and got right back on track Monday morning. Did I learn something?? yes, cookies are not as satisfying as they appear to be. Will I do it again ? Maybe not eat just cookies for dinner but I'm sure I will eat cookies again!!! biggest lesson....don't forget to plan to bring healthy food with me when I will need to eat. (I do this most of the time now anyway) And eat the healthy food that I bring!!
Wishing you all a healthy week!

Body image...

I found this article about body image that tells all about me and how I feel. I did change a few words around and left some stuff out but you'll get the idea. I have a hard time seeing anything that is good. Even if I see it in a picture, I can't see it in the mirror. I have been trying to work on seeing me....the real me. My husband gets so frustrated with me because he thinks I just don't want to listen to him when he gives me a compliment.....it's not that at all....I want to, I just can't for some reason. I need to believe it for myself.

Here’s a list of indicators that your image may be suffering more than usual (and ways to fix it below that):

1. You notice only negative things in the mirror, car windows, storefront windows, etc. Instead of seeing your positive physical traits, you’re more likely to be found bashing your body, and nitpicking at every nook and cranny.

2. You have a tough time taking compliments. It isn’t that you’re too polite to take a compliment; it’s that you truly believe you don’t deserve them.

3. You rarely think you look good. Even wearing a favorite outfit doesn’t help you to feel good in your skin. You rarely feel beautiful or even pretty.

4. You compare yourself to everyone. For many of us, comparisons are as natural as breathing. But, while you’re comparing your appearance to everyone else’s, you rarely have anything good to say about yourself. It’s always, “her thighs are so much slimmer than mine.” “Her waist is much smaller.”

5. It takes you forever to pick out an outfit — more often than not. Do you have a moment — more like many moments — where you’ve been cooped up in your room, trying on tons of clothes? You can’t see your floor, partially because it’s overflowing with clothing and mainly because your face is filled with tears.

6. You skip events because you don’t think you look good enough.

7. You criticize your body regularly. “My stomach is gross.” “My thighs are enormous!”


5 Solutions to Your Bruised Body Image:

1. Think of the awesome things you can do thanks to your body, whether it’s lifting weights, walking several miles, playing with your child, playing an instrument, riding a bike, dancing, achieving a tough yoga pose or simply wrapping your arms around a loved one.

2. What do you like about yourself, including and beyond your body? Create a list of your positive qualities and achievements, and if you need extra reminding, put the list on a note card where you can see it.

3. Hang out with positive people, who appreciate and support you, who see beyond appearances to who you really are.

4. View exercise as fulfilling, not punishing. Instead of working out to eliminate calories choose ways to stay active that you enjoy and that make you feel strong and good about your body. There are tons of options for leading an active lifestyle: walking, hiking, biking, workout DVDs, gym membership, yoga, Pilates, dancing, tennis. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t like the latest workout craze. Pick something that resonates with you.

5. Worrying about your weight and body is exhausting and strips you of valuable time. Consider all the good things you miss out on because you’re too busy criticizing yourself.

Do you think your body image has been bruised?

What things do you do to improve your body image?

If you have any advise that will help I would love to hear it!

No more baggy underwear!!!....

I had a great week overall. I turned around the few bad choices I made and started with a new day and ended up losing 2 pounds this week. I feel good about that. One more pound to get to 55 pounds lost. Five at a time is a fun goal.

I have made some breakthroughs on some of my issues. Ok, the biggest issue is now taken care of.....I have new underwear!!! No, those are not my real underwear in the picture but mine were feeling that big. I have put off buying anything new because partly I didn't want it to mean to me that this is where I am going to stay weight wise....if that make sense. I still want to keep on losing and somehow in my brain, if I buy something new it will somehow signal that this is where I will be staying. I know this is not true and I can no longer bare to wear these baggy undies. I deserve to have new ones that fit...no more baggy underwear....that is my breakthrough!!

Also I am just plain cheap!! and will do without for as long as I can. I have gotten a new belt(thrift store "new" $1.29 black leather DKNY) to hold up all my baggy pants. So the next thing I have decided to do is to alter some of my favorite clothes that I can't bare to part with yet so they will fit and get rid of all the ones that are just plain too big to even alter now. I think this will be good for me and it won't cost any money!!! I am however keeping the biggest pants that I ever wore.

It's a New Day...

This week was ok for me. I ate pretty healthy but, had a few too many calories on most days. I got in some exercise at least 3 days this week. On Wednesday I did 2 hours at class. So for the weekly weigh-in I lost .4 of a pound. Not great but, not bad. I just hope I don't see a gain this week.
Today I did not budget my calories very well and I ended up eating too many again. I made some toffee covered popcorn and drizzled it with dark chocolate.....mistake.....big MISTAKE!!! I can not budget in toffee popcorn for lunch........ it just does not work!! it only makes you more hungry for dinner.
Ok, Monday will soon be here and "It's a new day" and I will make a better choice for lunch tomorrow....(and stay away from the toffee popcorn.)
Wishing everyone healthy choices and smiles!

50 POUNDS LOST!...

I weighed in today not expecting to lose. I had a lot of stress this week and did not work very hard at losing weight. Well, I did it, I lost 1.6 pounds! Not a big loss but, that little loss put me at 50 POUNDS LOST! I can't believe it! My head is spinning and I'm not sure how I feel excited, nervous, scared, unsure....I know this all sounds strange....I should be elated!! and inside I am but, I'm feeling so many other emotions too. I'm 44 years old and haven't been at this weight since I was a freshman in high school. So many things are changing....clothes are not fitting.....I'm not sure what to wear....I'm not sure how I truley look. These are all good things and mean that I am losing weight but, at the same time some of them can be frustrating....like when you think you know what you are going to wear to church and then when you put it on it is too big and now you have no idea what to wear. I have always been used to wearing big baggy things to hide all the rolls and now I'm thinking I can wear more fitted things but I'm not sure how I truly look. Do I look good....or do I look like a fat person squeezing into something small ???? I need to get a grip on my self image!!! Yes, I have been overweight all my life and I'm still overweight but now I am 50 pounds lighter and I am feeling better about myself than I have in a long time and I want to feel like I look good!
Thank you to all of you for the encouragement that I have needed so badly.
Hope you all have a great week

tough week...

I have had a tough week emotionally. My eating seems to be ok and my exercise is ok....neither one has been really great but no big down falls. As a result of that I managed to lose another 2 pounds this last week. Yay, for two more pounds gone! That makes me really close to losing 50 pounds!! one more pound to lose! that's exciting and scary and puts me in a long lost territory. I weigh less now than when I got married 23.5 years ago.
I have been overwhelmed with the amount of things I have to do at this time of year. School is starting and I am once again not organized......feeling alot of pressure from outside influences on this one. Every time I turn around someone is asking me why we haven't started school yet. My kids are all real good readers and do well at math, history, english, science, and......have absolutely no trouble socializing with ALL ages of people they encounter..........dispite popular belief that homeschooled children lack social skills. We are getting started with school this week and of course all the books are REVIEWING what they taught last year....the stuff my kids seem to always remember and are bored with. So, where is the problem??? Ok, enough ranting about people that need to mind their own business!
My husband and I are helping with a ministry class at church that has added 2 evenings a week to our schedule and another 2 evenings a week with a class schedule change. I know it will all work out as we get used to the new schedule but, right now it is hectic, to say the least.
I have been stressing about finances again and that is getting me down.
Not having any time to myself to blog or read blogs.....and this is where my only support is for losing weight! which brings me to another stresser......I need encouragement! I have not been on here enough to blog and give out encouragment so I'm feeling a bit lonely in the "losing weight world". I have chose not to tell people in my family and my friends that I am losing weight because of the frustration it has caused in the past but, now I am feeling a bit regretful on that part right now because I really want some compliments by now. Only ONE person out of all the people that I see each week has said anything about me losing weight and looking good. Ok, I brought this on myself by not letting anyone know and now I have to deal with it.

Hope you are all doing better than me this week.
My goal is to try to get on here at least one more time this week to give out some encouragment to someone!!

Weigh-in Day...

I missed weigh-in last week because I was camping. Today I weighed in and lost 2 pounds. I'm happy for the loss and glad I didn't have a gain after camping last week. This puts me at 47 pounds lost...really close to 50 pounds lost. I think I am in shock of the weight I have lost...it is so strange to think that I have lost 47 pounds, I have never done this well before when I have tried to lose weight. I usually lose a bit, never any more than 20-30 pounds, then gain it all back plus more. I know it's not much compared to some and I still have a lot more to lose but this is still more than I have ever lost in my life. This feel good.

I didn't take very much healthy food with us and just took what we had around the house this time. I did try to be mindful of what I ate but, not always. My husband made eggs and bacon and bagels for breakfast every morning and he cooks with more oil (olive oil) than I do and of course the eggs have to have cheese on them. The bacon we eat is turkey and I did take fat free cream cheese for the bagel. I tried to limit my intake of the food that we did have and enjoy small portions. We ate popcorn and smores every night and played games. We invented and new smore......smoreos...you take a chocolate cream oreo and roast a marshmallow to put in between the cookie halves. (we didn't have the stuff for the original smores but we did have marshmallows and chocolate cream oreos) These are better that the original smores. Calories are high.....100 calories in each smoreo. I had one each night.

I walked every day. One day we were going to go for an evening walk before we roasted our hotdogs so we set out for about a half an hour walk and ended up down a trail that led us to the "big sand dune" that the kids climb every year with my husband. I have never climbed it with them and they wanted to "show" it to me. We got there and this sand dune is huge! it was about a quarter mile up and almost straight up! They all took off climbing! and I was left there standing....looking up. Two of the kids were on all four....hands and feet climbing up to the top. The other one was half way up digging his feet into the sand with every step. My husband looked at me and so what was I to do????? I said "ok, I'll give it a try." It was so steep that I too had to use my hands and feet. Every step I took I slid back down where I started. I had to take three or four steps to even make any progress, the sand would just move down and out from under me. I had to stop about four times on the way up and catch my breath. This was more hard work than I have ever done in my life I think. I finally made it to the top...it was beautiful...you could see for miles of the beach and sand dunes. At the top was a ridge you could walk on that was about four feet wide. We walked along that for awhile and then back to where we had climbed up. When we had got to the top my pedometer read .5 of a mile. Now I had to go back down.......without falling flat on my face and rolling into a huge sand ball at the bottom. I made it down slowly by digging in my heals on the way down. Then they took me on another trail to get back to the campsight. It was dark by the time we got back. It as a huge challenge and I was glad I tried it in the end. I'm not sure about trying it again though......I'll have to think about that one. If you are interested I wrote about the "sand dune hike" last year when we went camping and it did not turn out the same. This was a big deal to me and even though I didn't go on the whole hike I did climb the HUGE DUNE! Maybe next year I can do the whole hike!

I also did another thing I have never done before in my life while I was camping......I jogged for 20 minutes around the camp ground. I am not a jogger....I do love to walk though. I do not know what got into me, I just felt like jogging with the dog. I felt pretty good about that too. My daughter went with me and she thought it was so fun. I went slow but I did it and I think it was about 3/4 of a mile.

What new challenges have you tried lately?? I would love to hear about them.

I have been getting a lot of migraines this month and I think it is because I have been so busy and not getting enough sleep. So I better get off here and get to bed for the night.
Hope everyone is doing well.

Blackberry waffle & weigh-in...what a combination

Today is weigh-in day for me. I lost 3 pounds this week. This is a far better weigh-in than last week! I was hoping it would go down this week I had worked so hard at making healthy choices I couldn't bare to see another gain. I didn't work as hard this week but, I did stay on track with eating and exercise.

I got to add a new badge to my blog again......45 pounds lost! All the little 5 pound goals are adding up. I am a slow loser but I feel good about losing and getting healthy even if it is at a slow pace.

Very nervous about tomorrow! I have a new test coming up tomorrow night...I have been training hard and hopefully it will pay off. We'll see. God's strength is what I need.

I had a wonderful breakfast this morning.....waffle with blackberries and vanilla yogurt it was so yummy!! Just wanted to share that with you.

busy, busy week....

I had a busy week this week. It had a lot of pro and cons to go with it. I did work out much more that usual....a pro. I am sooooo tired.....a con. I did eat very healthy and drink my water....a pro. I weighed yesterday and I gained .6 lb......a con. I do believe it is not going to stick around though.....a pro. I was upset for a bout 2 hours after I saw the gain on the scale. Matter of fact I was mad! I had worked so hard this week and what do I get for it ??......a gain! But then I was ready to move on and face the day and continue to eat healthy and take care of myself.
I am so sore this week. I have been working out extra time trying to get ready for another test next week...praying it will go good. I agonized over it for so long before I decided I was ready to do it, now the time is here and I have to be ready next friday.
I spent most of the week volunteering at day camp where my kids were. Two of them were working and one was attending. I painted faces for 8 hours on Thursday.
Take care everyone and be healthy!

Who am I ?

Wow, it has been another week since I have posted.
I survived the pizza, popcorn, and ice cream movie night. Then the next night I went to an unexpected birthday BBQ. I did ok there, I had a taste of what I wanted and did not over indulge. I had a hamburger with veggies and no mayo but, I did not finish it. I did have a few french fries....fried in oil ! They didn't have much flavor though and weren't really worth it. As a matter of fact I threw away my ice cream sunday! I cannot believe I did that without struggling at all. I just thought "this doesn't really even taste very good......so why am I eating it?" So in the trash can it went without hesitation. That in itself is a major accomplishment for me. I used to always eat things just because it was there and something to do or because someone gave it to me. Not any more...oh, and yesterday I passed up brownies that were offered to me two different times. They smelled delicious but, I just didn't feel like having one. I did grab an iced green tea instead and drank half of it. I don't even know myself anymore I am doing strange things.
I weighed in today and lost 2 pounds this week. I spent a good deal of time thinking about my weight today because I just could not remember what the scale said. Every time I was going to recall the number in my head I transposed the last two numbers. It seemed as if it should have been the bigger number for some reason.....like I was fooling myself into thinking I weighed a smaller amount. After all, I have not been this low since 1986 and so I have been accustom to thinking in the higher numbers for quite some time now. This is the most weight I have lost and been successful at doing it.
Things are changing and I'm moving in a forward motion.
Hope everyone is doing good this week. :)

Pizza, popcorn, ice cream...oh, my!

Making healthy choices today...so far! I'm not sure about tonight....we are going to have a movie night with pizza, popcorn, and ice cream. I better start cutting up some carrots and cucumbers right now so I am prepared for the snack time. I'm fine with the pizza in moderation. I have never stopped eating pizza, I just limit myself now to no more than 2 pieces and not too often.

Pizza happens especially when you have kids!

I just posted a couple of new progress pictures. I thought it was about time for a new one. I don't see too much difference from the last one and that is why I have been putting it off but, I do want to keep a record of where I've been. I do see a difference between now and the beginning picture though.

Keep on moving in a forward motion!