Feeling a bit better today...

It was so nice to hear from all of you who left me a get well comment! Thank you so much!!
Well....I do have to report to you all that I did turn to food 2 times :( one time I had a cookie with coffee and the other time I searched the house for chocolate!!! I found a snack size candy bar and ate it. I didn't really feel bad about it either. I feel worse about turning to food for comfort than I do about the two treats that I ate. I have not had the desire to turn to food for comfort as much as I used to so, I know things are getting better in my new way of healthy eating & healthy living.

I'm feeling a bit better today. I'm thinking the coffee I had this morning has a bit to do with it though (more energy). :)
My sinuses are a bit more clear today and I'm not so grouchy......yet.....in a couple of hours it may be a different story! I did a lot today. I went to class and did double classes today....it was sooooo hot....my face was beet red! I drank a lot of water though and slowed down a few times when I felt like I needed to. My partner for the second class needed to go slow today too, so that helped. The partner I had for the first class is one of the hardest people to work with that's there. I have had a lot of trouble with her in the past, but today wasn't bad. I plan to write a bit more about that when I tell you all about the secret that I have (I'm working on a page to tell you about it). Lots of workout time today!

So tomorrow is my weigh-in day I'm not sure how I will do considering I didn't exercise as much this week and went to a BBQ. So far today the scale is down a pound....but we'll see tomorrow what the official number is ??!!

Hope everyone is doing well this week. I checked in on the HYC but I didn't take time to read many blogs this time to see how everyone is doing.

I am so fascinated by the progress pictures people have posted. From the beginning pictures to the ones that have lost 200lbs. and more. If you have progress pictures I would love to see them.....if you do not have progress pictures I would highly recommend you to really consider posting them even if you don't like your picture you never know how it might inspire someone else. I think the progress pictures and the positive comments left by all of you, have been my biggest incentives to keep on going and never give up.

Feeling weak....

I'm feeling weak today. I've been fighting off a virus and not much sleep this last week. My emotions are high and I have a lot on my mind. I haven't turned to food though......yet. I did think about it for a couple of minutes but then my body just said you aren't hungry....so why eat? So I had some tea and it was satisfying. I'm going to go lay on the couch for awhile and plan out dinner...a healthy one of course!

It's a new day!!

Well, the BBQ went ok, but those darn chips would not leave me alone. They kept jumping on my plate and then in my mouth even when I said ok, a couple of you can jump on....then a few more always seemed to follow without my permission. And to top it off the left over bags of chips said they were coming home with my kids but, you know what, they really came home with us to torment me!! Help, the chips are after me!!! O_o

Ok, so I did good with the food to start with. I had a hamburger with no mayo or ketchup, just the bottom bun then red onion, tomato, and lettuce on the top to hold it all together (like a top bun). That was soooo good! We don't eat red meat in our everyday diet so this was something I have not had in a long time. There was chicken there but, I chose to have a hamburger. I got 3 of three different kinds of chips and a tablespoon of guacamole. The mango salsa and cream cheese was hard to resist and I did have about a 1/4 cup of that....it was so good on the burger too. I had a tablesoon of potato salad. I felt good about these choices then the chips attacked!! Oh...and I can't forget to tell you I did have a cookie too.
Later on we had a lovely slice of cheesecake with berries and whipped cream....my friend always has the best desserts!!!

Today is a new day and I am back on plan. I do feel a bit bloated today though! probably the salt in those darn chips....I wish they would stay away from me....they make me miserable!!
Hope everyone is having a good holiday weekend.

Plan for the day...

BBQ's and fireworks!!! I plan to make healthy choices on food today. I plan to eat what I want but not, as much as I would have in the past. I know there will be healthy things and no-so-healthy things to choose from. I plan to listen to my body when it is full and not exploding like a firework. We'll see how it works though after tonight.....I'm learning to live as life goes on around me!

First Progress Picture...

Ok...I got really brave today and decided to post a face picture. Here goes....

The first one my son took back when I started this blog. The "lost 15 lbs." one I took on the web cam. I thought my face looked thinner in the second picture.... tell me what you think.

Weigh-in Day...

It was close but I did it...I lost 1 more pound this week!! I can get that 15 lbs. lost badge from HYC now. Wow, how did I do that? The time has gone by so quickly. The support from all of you has really helped me tremendously!

I'm so happy to be able to say I've lost 15 lbs. now. Although, I'm NOT telling anyone but my immediate family and you guys, of course. (It's hard to keep my kids from saying anything to people though, they are happy because I'm happy but, they don't understand why I don't want to tell everyone.) I fear everyone else, with all their comments and expectations I know that I can never live up to being what they want me to be or looking the way they think I should or lose the weight the way they say I should. OH, and....people saying "oh you can't have that you're on a diet". And friends that put pressure on themselves because they think they need to be losing weight so they avoid being around you because you might somehow make them look bad. That's some of why I had given up for so long....I was always a failure at losing weight. Oh, I could lose some here and there but would always gain it back mostly because I starved myself to lose it, then when I started eating again I just gained it back.
NO MORE OF THAT!! I am going to be healthy at what ever weight it is that I'm at, and going to do that by making good food choices and portion sizes, listening to when I'm full and when I'm hungry, drinking water, moving this body around for some exercise, taking my vitamin, getting more sleep, laughing every day, giving hugs and feeling good!

I was on here almost everyday this week reading and checking into the HYC but, I didn't write anything all week. I thought about a lot of things though. I was starting to think I was giving up and slowly going back to my old eating habits. But then it hit me last night....some of the things that have happened to me in the past 8 weeks.

My family all had ice cream last night and I had 2 bites and never felt the need to eat a bowl for myself....I was not deprived because I knew that I could have some if I wanted too! I was not restricted from it.

I have been not as focused on food lately as I used to be. Even though I do think more about what I'm going to eat, food is not so important to me anymore.

I have not been turning to food for comfort as much....it always makes me feel worse in the end anyway!!

I am full with smaller portions too! (And feel better after eating less.)

OH!, and I can't forget....my clothes are getting baggy!!

So, I did feel like I was getting a little too relaxed about losing weight and starting to go backwards but now I've realized some of the things that have changed in my life and they are so good that I really want to work hard at keeping the new changes.....I'm not going to give up. I know it's not always going to be this easy but wow, 15 lbs lost is more than I've lost in the last 8 years. This time I want to do this for ME !! Those of you that have been at this longer than I have and are still hanging in there....good times and bad..... you are my inspiration to keep going. This is a lifetime commitment!

I will be looking on here to some of your blogs for support over the weekend....the BBQs and all that good food!!! Holidays and parties are hard for me....there are too many choices....I usually want it ALL!!! but I will be trying hard to make good choices for me !

Weigh-in Day...

Good news....I lost 1 lb. this week. I feel good about it. I'm so happy that I haven't given up by now. The long term goal seems so far away....sometimes impossible. I set my ticker goal at losing 70 pounds, which seems like so much, but in reality I need to lose more than that but I thought if I can at least get there I can reassess myself and then start a new goal after that.
Ok....so right now I am just going to focus on getting that 15 lbs. lost badge. I really like having the every 5 lb. goals, it is so much easier to work for! I'm working on it day-by-day & week-by-week then after awhile it will add up to months and then a year...I wonder where I will be in one year?? I'm hoping for at least a 50lb. lost badge in one year. This would really help with my other goal that I am working on (the secret that I've talked about, I will be sharing with you soon). Even the 14 lbs. that I have lost has helped me feel a bit more confident and has made some physical things easier to do. We'll see....

Feeling better today!

I'm feeling much better today! I haven't been sleeping very well for a couple of weeks so I've been real tired. But, I got up and got ready to go and did another 2 hour work out at class today. I did a double class on Monday too. I wasn't sure I could do it but, I made it! I felt good about doing it and sticking with it. The teacher was a little easier on the second class than the first one but it was still a lot of work. On Monday it kinda felt like having my own personal trainer because there was only 3 people in class. There were about 15 people in the second class today. Today I had a headache after the first class but I decided to try to do the second class and I made it through (with one bathroom break at half way through).
I have made good food choices today. Tomorrow is weigh-in day for me and I'm not sure it's going to look good. I'm hoping to at least stay the same...which is how it looks today.....so I guess I just need to not worry about it. It's so hard though....I want to see a loss so bad that I get really nervous. I'm trying to not fall into that trap....and just be happy that I made good healthy choices for the week no matter what the scale says.
Thanks again to those of you who leave me comments, it really makes my day to hear encouragement from you! :) I will check in tomorrow and let everyone know the weigh-in verdict.
Hey...I've been thinking a lot about progress pictures.....when does everyone think it should be done??? every 10 lbs. lost, every 15 lbs. lost???? I would like to do this but I don't see much difference yet. Let me know your thoughts on this.

blaaa.......

I don't feel very good to day. I'm all puffy and my ankles hurt. :( I'm drinking water but so far not helping.
Ok, I have to tell...I had coffee and 3 cookies today. They were really good! White chips and raspberry granola in them, I made them this morning. I can't believe I did that, one cookie would have been enough. Ok....I can get over this and move on.....I'm not going to eat the rest of the batch or anything like that. I just had a bit of a weak moment there. I took my coffee and cookies out on the porch and sat on the couch in the breeze and relaxed for a while. Thanks to anyone who is listening to me vent...just had to get it out. Hope you are doing better than me today!!
Tomorrow is a new day!!

busy, busy...

We have been so busy running around. The kids have more things going in the summer than during school time I think. I was in town all day again yesterday. It is really hard not to just go to say McDonald's or some other fast food place and grab your lunch and dinner. I have been challenged to have to actually think about what it is that I am going to eat in order to not go over the days plan. I have not been very good at it yet when we are in town and when I haven't packed a lunch to take with me. I am working on it though because.....like I said before, life doesn't go on hold so I can lose weight, I have to learn how to make healthy choices while life goes on around me.
I chose to do double classes today so that put me at exercising for 2 hours! Wow, I wasn't sure I could do it, but I made it and it was great! My face was beet red when I got done but I felt fine. It was more like having a personal trainer because there were only 3 people in the second class. I think I might try that again sometime. It was a challenge and I did it and feel good about it!!
HOpe everyone is doing good out there. It's pretty quiet out there.....I guess everyone is just busy for the summer. Thanks to those of you who have left me comments....please stop by and comment often!!!

Weigh-in Day...

Wow...I lost another 2 pounds. I'm so shocked after all the BBQ and partying going on around here. Yesterday I had a bad stomach ache and couldn't eat dinner.....so I hope it is a true 2 lb loss and not just due to an upset stomach last night. Oh well, I'll take it and am happy about it! If I gain it back I'll just have to work harder next week. :)
Hope everyone is doing good this week!

Busy weekend!

I had a challenging and busy weekend with 2 BBQs/party this week and going to my friends for breakfast on Monday morning....but I'm hanging in there trying to make good choices....after all life doesn't go on hold just so I can be healthy.....I have to make healthy choices while life goes on around me!

Friday night's BBQ was more challenging for me (my son's 13th birthday party). I did eat more than I planned on eating. The worst part was the snacking on the things I had left over ......at midnight while watching Gillmore Girls on the computer. My husband was sleeping on the couch behind me. :)

Ok, so for actual dinner I had 1 turkey hotdog and a few chips and salsa. But then my son and my mom were eating up all the mango salsa with creamcheese that my friend brought so, I had to get in on it, it's my favorite! Then when they weren't looking I took the end of it in the house to save for "later". I also deside to have another turkey hotdog about an hour later when all the kids were doing a treasure hunt......that wasn't too bad yet. I served the cake and icecream and didn't have any.
Then when I got all those boys settled down watching a movie at midnight and the girls had left......the fridge was calling to me!!! The left over mango salsa was calling out..."it's later, come and eat me" then I saw the bean dip that was for the boys to munch on when they watched their movie so I had to get that out and have a "taste" and with both of those I had to have chips to go with it. Then I saw the cake....that I didn't have any of, and decided I would try it. I had to have a little icecream to go with it too. Oh, and there are the chocolate chip cookies someone baked for my son.....I'll just try one. Hey, here are the brownies my friend brought over for those people who might not like yellow cake smothered in whip cream and strawberries......like who would that be??? I had to try one of those too. And a few more bites of that bean dip and chips it was really good heated up. So by the time I went to bed I had heartburn and suffered all night.

Saturday was a new day though!! I was good to myself all day .....I realized that even though I thought those things I ate last night were going to be good and satisfy me they only made me feel horrible! I wish I could remember that feeling every time I am tempted to overeat, but unfortunately it is like child birth, once it's over we forget the pain and want to try again for some odd reason.


Sunday went well with the BBQ I made good choices and didn't over eat. I even allowed my self a small piece of key lime pie. The worst thing for me on this day was I stopped by Starbucks on the way home from church to surprise my husband with a coffee. Well, I ordered a venti white chocolate mocha Frappuccino for myself. I don't usually order a venti (large) but my thought was I will drink half of it today and sip on it the next couple of days....I've done this before with a medium drink and it worked well for me, not a problem. So the problem came in when they made 2 of them for me by mistake and they say you can take it if you want or throw it away. THROW IT AWAY!!!! Are they out of their minds!!!! First of all the cost is so outrageous I only treat myself a couple of times a month to their coffee and second who in their right mind would throw out something so gooooood!!!! So, you guessed it, I took it home. I then drank a little more than I had planned on for the day because now I had more to last me though the week! Today is tuesday and I still have 3/4 of the second one left. I finished the first one yesterday and had a little of the second. See I told you I have problems with coffee! :)

Monday I went to my friends for breakfast. The one who made the mango salsa and cream cheese dip and the wonderful brownies for the birthday party, OH...and I can't forget the beautiful yellow cake smothered in whipped cream and strawberries. So, now you know what kind of breakfast I was about to face. She made these wonderful vanilla yeast belgin waffles with honey butter, then she drizzled on Dove chocolate sauce and topped with strawberries and whipped cream. And to go with that she made some delicious scrambled eggs with mango salsa and cheese on them. With orange juice and of course mocha coffee topped with whipped cream to finish it off. Told myself all the way there...."you do not HAVE to eat everything that is placed in front of you!" It worked and I ate about 1/2 of the waffle and 1/2 of the eggs that she gave me (maybe one egg total) I drank all of the coffee though.....but over all I think I did good considering in the past I would have dove in and ate it all!!!

I made some great fajitas last night with some left over grilled vegetables, a little cheese and a salad on the side.
Well, I better get on with the day. The kids want to know what there assignments are so they can get done with school for the year. And besides that Frappuccino is calling me! :)

Hope everyone is doing good this week! My weigh in is in 2 days! we'll see how all that party-ing paid off! :)