It's been a long week.....

It's been a week since I posted last. I've been through a lot of things in this last week.
First, I will go back to weigh-in day....thursday. I did weigh-in that morning before heading to the hospital. I lost 1 lb. last week. I was pretty happy about that, but just didn't have the energy to get on here and post.

So, when I went in for my yearly exam this year I had a bad mammogram. I skipped last years because I couldn't bring myself to make the appointment....because I had a bad mammogram the year before too. (Don't ask me for the reasoning there....one would think if you had a bad test one year you would want to be on top of things for the next year.) Any way I had to have biopsies 2 years ago and it was not fun. They turned out to be benign and I recovered but it was a tough time for me in my life and I felt so alone, I couldn't bare to go there again. So I finally made the appointment for this year and once again a bad mammogram! This time it was worse...I had to have 14 core biopsies on the other side. I went to the hospital on thursday, this time not alone!! It is still very scary and stressful. It took the doctor 3 times the amount of time that they had planned and that made my husband worry as he sat in the waiting room but, I was glad to go a bit slow so I could have a breather in there. I called the nurse yesterday and she said the "unofficial" results were, they were all benign. I still have to get the official results when my doctor is in though, maybe today or tomorrow?? The heavy cloud lifted from my head after I heard the nurse say they were benign. I felt like doing something...energized...but too sore to jump or dance around. 0_o I wanted to ride my bike too, but my husband wouldn't let me yet. He is taking good care of me this time. But a lot of the time I just think I can do everything myself, I don't want anyone to think I'm a baby. I'm used to being independent and doing things for myself and everyone else it's hard to sit still and have others do things for me. I'm recovering well and will be back to doing everything as usual real soon!

Now that leads me up to the part of eating and being healthy for the last week. I have been real hungry since my biopsies! Mainly craving proteins and not eating enough of them and in turn eating too many carbs because I'm still hungry and I'm grabbing something quick! I really have tried to stay on plan but it has been so hard, my body is so out of it. My sleeping has been off and I couldn't do any exercise. I'm not trying to give excuses for anything, I'm just amazed at how something like this can throw your everyday routine off. I have been physically and emotionally weak! I have been eating ice cream with my husband at night again.....smaller portions....but still not good....this will need to stop!!! Yesterday I was very nervous about waiting for my results and hungry from going in town and doing my class (light activity). When I came home about 3:30pm I had a 1/2 bagel with some chicken on it and a couple of pringles. Then I did the old "that was sooooo good and made me feel soooo much better" that I made the other half of the bagel with chicken on it and ate it too. Then I was stuffed and not hungry for dinner but I ate dinner anyway. I dished up my dinner and then looked at it and put some back. I had mostly green beans a little bit of spaghetti but 2 pieces of bread and cheese all over the spaghetti. This week I could see some old habits creeping back in there like, eating just because it's there and emotional eating! My emotions have been all over the place and I have not had the energy to really focus on my eating habits...I didn't abandon it altogether though...I did try to stay in control of portions and I didn't give into every little opportunity to eat and be out of control even though It would have been real easy to just give up and not think about my food intake at all.