Bed rest.....

My iron level has dropped again in the last month. I upped my iron pills after the last time I went to the doctor but, on Sunday I almost passed out a couple of times. So, I went to the doctor again and they checked my iron and it has gone down again. I am on bed rest this week and light activity next week. I am taking iron pills, eating iron rich foods, drinking lots of water, and getting lots of rest this week trying to get better.

It's just killing me not to exercise. I am so bored. And laying around makes me even more tired and sore. I'm hoping I can just do some stretching tomorrow. I really want to go to karate but I know I can't do any this week. And besides my heart is willing but, my body is not right now. Eating healthy is not so easy when other people are getting your food for you. I have been getting up to prepare my food but, it really wears me out! So, I've given in and am letting others get me food. When I get better I can be in better control. ( I have also been eating too much chocolate!!....all my own fault!!!!!) My weight is pretty much staying in one place, up a little down a little, not losing over all but, not gaining either.

It's spring break and my daughter is home doing crafts, taking care of me, and watching DVDs with me.
This is my favorite of the day...I love the song!

gained 2 pounds...

I was going along working through things and feeling so much better about myself till weigh-in day last week. I was so disappointed when I weighed... I gained 2 pounds. This really set my mind back because I felt I was doing ok, not super good, and if anything I might just stay the same. But, no.....I gained 2 pounds. I have tried to let it go and move on...it's not the end of the world but it sure is disappointing. I have been so emotional lately. Feeling worthless for not losing weight. Not being able to get my body back into a slow steady loss. Don't get me wrong, I am happy (some what) that I am not gaining everything back but, I'm tired of sitting here with at least another 40-50 pounds left to lose. Enough of that.

The one thing I did for myself last week, that I have been putting off, is....I went to the doctor. I had a blood test and found out I am anemic. And then they made me another appointment to talk about it next week. I guess you only get one answer at a time... first you find out if something is wrong or not, then the next appointment you get to talk about what to do about it. How complicated can it be to tell me to take iron. So, I'm not waiting...I'm going to start taking iron now and maybe I will feel better by my next appointment. So, I did do one thing for myself and got that taken care of.

I did my regular workouts and I also got in some wii fit time this week. My food intake has been not-so-good.
Today is a new day and I am going to take care of myself.
Hope you have a happy healthy day too.

thank you....

Thank you Cammy and all of you who read, comment, and support those of us who are struggling. You just don't know how a few encouraging words can make some ones whole day, week or year.

I was going about my day as usual yesterday putting things off and not making any plans to follow through on doing something for me until I quickly checked my email yesterday afternoon. Each day that I get the time, I check to see if some one has emailed me or commented on my blog and as usual....not much.....well, why should there be, I never email anyone and I rarely blog so how can I expect someone to contact me back. But yesterday, low and behold the ever encouraging Cammy has left me a comment. Now, let me say I agree with her 100% on the issue of taking care of myself first will then benefit the rest of my family because I will feel better and then be better able to take care of them without being grouchy !!! It's that horrible negative side of me that says I don't have time or, I don't deserve it for whatever reason or, I'm too tired, always putting things off...etc. All the excuses. So, I checked my email and there it was a comment from Cammy. First I read it and thought yea, I agree. Then the P.S. part..... oh, no some one caught me putting it off again, ok I'll get off my but and go make that appointment. And the last part is what really made a difference...." because I can't think of anyone who deserves it more!" And you know what I do deserve to take care of me! I am worth it and I need to believe this again so I can keep moving forward. I made that phone call and I am on my way of taking care of some things I need to do for me to feel better... and be less stressed. And that sent a chain reaction to my brain thinking of other things I could do that would make me happy. Now, I just need to make a list and try to do some of them.
My eating has been ok....but not the best the last couple of days. I'm still trying and not giving up. I did go to karate last night and was there for 2 hours. I didn't work as hard for the 2 hours as usual but it was fun, I always enjoy going and learning new things. I may help with a tournament this week....not sure yet.
Have a happy healthy day...you are worth it too!!

quick Monday post...

Just a quick Monday night post. I did pretty well on my eating all day till I got home and ate dinner and then I ate a bit too much. I didn't pig out but I feel full, very full, and I don't like that feeling. I haven't added my calories but, I may have gone over by a few.
I'm still battling the emotional eating thoughts. I'm on and off with this one.
Oh, and thinking on how to get things done that need to get done and still have time for me. Cammy said to put myself first. This is hard for me....it feels selfish. I know I need to take care of me but I don't always think I deserve to be first. But, I am taking her advise and putting my self first tomorrow and I'm going to do something that has needed to be done for a long time. Here's hoping I will follow through with it.
And speaking of "me" time....I am going to get off here and go do some wii fit for a while before I go to bed.
See ya...
have a happy healthy day!

Emotional eating ...

Saturdays are always busy for me. I sleep in because on Friday night we stay up to watch a movie with our teenagers and it usually goes late. So I wake up pretty tired to start with but, once I have my coffee I feel better and ready to get something done. My day always starts with breakfast with my husband and then put on makeup, comb hair, and get busy. Not this morning. By the time I got up my hubby was ready to take off and get busy with what he had to do for the day and I ate breakfast alone....well not alone....just not with him. I felt outta sorts about this and a bit emotional ..... I know that sounds stupid but, I don't get much time with my husband and I look forward to spending any time I can with him. I wasn't going to let this ruin my day so I ate a healthy breakfast and put my makeup on and then washed my car and vacuumed it out. In the afternoon I did make him lunch and we ate together but I still wanted more time with him. He went about doing his stuff and I made time to get on the wii fit for an hour. Now it's after dinner and I'm feeling a bit emotional. I'm going to bed so I don't eat to fill an emotional need. I realize that I eat to fullfill emotional needs and as a comforter. One thing I have used as a comfort since I have been trying to take care of myself and be healthy is hot tea. A cup of hot tea does wonders to pick me up but, I still struggle with using food as a comfort. I really want to learn a healthier way...especially to teach my daughter.

Do you have a "no food" way of dealing with stress or emotions?

Wishing you a happy healthy day!

weigh-in Day...

Thursday is my weigh-in day. That means today was the first weigh-in of the year for me.
Ok.....here it goes.......I lost 2.4 pounds this week! I am so happy about that.
In the back of my mind it keeps saying "So what if you lost 2.4 pounds, they are pounds that you gained over Christmas...that doesn't count!" But, I'm fighting against that thought. I lost 2.4 pounds this week and I am going to be happy about it!!!

My goals for this year are to get back to basics and do what has worked for me to lose the 75 pounds that I have lost. So I have been doing good so far. Tonight I got in two hours of karate. Karate is getting a bit more intense again now that we have learned some new black belt moves to practice and work hard at it. It feels so good to work hard at it but, it also comes with a few bruises. My arms are sore tonight. I had a planned high calorie day today so my eating was not all that healthy. And I could have done better at drinking my water but I did get in 7 cups. Tomorrow is a new day and I will do good. I'm going shopping....I need to remember to take my pedometer.

I have been struggling with some things lately. One thing is getting time to take care of myself. Taking the time to exercise and get enough sleep and blog. If I stay up to blog or exercise then I don't get enough sleep and then I sleep-in in the morning if I don't have somewhere to go. But, then I don't get the things around the house done that need to get done and I'm stuck in a time crunch again and stay up late to get the things done. When the time runs out and I'm too tired to do any more it is always blogging or exercise that gets left out. It's so late right now I can't even think about how to work this out. And I know I have to get up in 6 hours. Ok......I just needed to get it out and I will work on it another day when I can actually think straight, right now I think I better get some sleep I have things to do tomorrow.

Have a happy healthy day.

terrific Tuesday...

I had a great day today. I ate with-in my limit and drank 10 cups of water. I did two hours of karate and loved every minute of it. Something I never dreamed of ever doing has become something I love. Karate is my life right now. I love training, teaching and reviewing.
Last night I got in 45 minutes of wii workout before bed.
Thank you to Cammy for giving me permission to not be perfect. I'm not perfect but, I am going to keep on trying to achieve my goals.
Tonight in Karate we talked about setting goals in life rather than a resolution for the new year. Goals are more attainable. Resolutions are more things we wish for but rarely attain. I have a hard time setting goals with-in a time limit. It seems like I always let myself down when I do this.....I don't know why but, I do. Too much pressure I think.
Every time I ever tried to lose weight in a certain time frame I always fail. This time I didn't do that I just started off with wanting to lose 5 pounds...no matter how long it took me and, that 5 pounds turned in to 75 pounds lost. I am back on my journey to lose 5 pound and to see where it will take me.

still sittin' here...

Well, I'm still sittin' at the same weight.....almost.....I think I went up a couple pounds over the holidays.
No good plans yet....still working on it.
I really need some help I think....I'm searching for a solution to start losing again.
My new(on-going) plan is to get back to basics and get 30 min. of movement in each day and drink more water. My calorie count is about 1400-1500 a day and I stay with-in it on most days. My training has dropped down to two days a week so I know I need to get more movement in on the other days.
I did my exercise today and drank my water. Stayed under 1500 calories. Not getting much sleep lately though...need to work on this too. And blog....I must make time to blog, you all inspire me so much!!!!
Hope all of you are doing well and on track with your healthy plans.

Feeling better & making a plan.......

I'm feeling better now that I have had 2 colds back to back in the last 2 weeks. Not fun. I'm feeling run down but getting back to myself.
Everyone is making plans for Thanksgiving Day eating. My plan will be to eat what I want without going over board. The key is to only eat the things I really, really want (for my body) I love veggies and turkey! As for the sweets I will be choosy and just a small amount to be satisfied. If I go over my calorie amount I'm not going to beat myself up. I will be back on plan the next day and moving in a forward motion.
My weight has been sitting right around the same for a while now and I need to figure out what to do to give myself a boost to lose another 25-35 pounds. I will be looking into some different exercise DVDs.
Does anyone have any good ideas for a plateau boost?

trying without ceasing....

I have chose to make my weight loss journey a life change and with that I am not on any "diet". I am continuously trying to make good, healthy choices regarding the food I eat and the activities I do. I mess up all the time!!! But, I am still trying without ceasing! I am never giving up...even though some days I really feel like it.

I have been feeling really guilty that I don't really deserve the HYC badge that I have. Every time I lose enough to get it, I gain a little bit back. So, I am debating on how long I should keep it up with out really deserving it. Part of me really wants to keep it up because I did work hard to get it but, the other part of me says no, you don't deserve it because you didn't work hard enough to keep it.
Ooooooh, the agony. :)

I had a challenging workout last night...mentally and physically challenging. I had to remember and perform part of what I learned for my Black Belt test. I have not done any of it in 2.5 months, I have been working on all new moves. I made it through. Then in the second class I got to work on my current moves and teach some stuff to a new student. It was great!

I'm off to look for a healthy lunch choice.....wish me luck.

weigh-in Day...

Today was weigh-in day for me and I stayed the same. I'm not surprised that I didn't lose, I had a bad week last week. I am so glad I didn't gain though.
Today is a busy day for me and I'm feeling a bit scattered so far.
I'm looking forward to training tonight....Tuesday was a good workout and I'm hoping it will be a good challenge tonight too.
My calorie choices for today have not been the best so far but, I still have time to make good choices. I had a cheese bagel w/fat free cream cheese and sausage for breakfast. I also had a mocha and doughnut for snack. Lunch and dinner are yet to be known. Better choices I hope.

Have a great day!

Last week...

Last week was not so good. Weigh-in day was depressing....I gained 1.5 pounds! I'm getting so tired of losing, gaining. losing, gaining. Over all I'm still going down but, I wish I could be more consistently losing. I'm in a slump. I am having a hard time making good choices throughout the day. Feeling emotional last week too.....and that doesn't help anything!!!!

Ok.....I'm feeling a bit better this week. Three days of making great choices in a row. My calories are on track and I got in 2 hours of good training last night and looking forward to another 2 hours tomorrow night. I'm trying to get myself into a habit of getting in a workout on my off-training days. I used to do this when I first started losing weight but got out of the habit when I started training everyday for my blackbelt. Now I need to get back into the workouts that I did before. Last Monday I did circuit training and loved it but, couldn't do it this week because my kids needed to be somewhere else at that time. I will try to do it again next Monday after the karate class that I teach in the mornings.

I am so thankful for all of you out there that struggle with the same things that I do. Good days and bad days we are all still trying to keep our heads above the water.

The lesson of the day at karate was:

We are responsible for how our day goes.
If it is raining we can be sad that it is wet out or, we can be glad that the grass is getting watered.
Instead of whining that you have to go to work, be happy that you have a job.
Instead of grumbling that you have to clean house, be thankful that you have shelter over your head.
It really is true our whole day revolves around our attitude about everything.

I'm having a good day today! I hope you are too.....and if you aren't, there is still time to turn it around. :)